betsysblog

I’ve always said it’s so hard for me to lose weight.  I’ve always blamed it on something- my age, my family history, blah blah blah.  And yet this week I discovered something.  I stuck to my WW points every single day.  And I only exercised once before throwing my back out.  And, instead of gaining, I maintained.  Now, if I had gained, I would have blamed it on the lack of exercise, but I didn’t.  I’m the exact same weight today as I was last Friday.  And I ate McDonalds, Little Ceasars, and a wrap from Sheetz.  I had lattes and diet soda.  And I still didn’t gain.  I don’t know about you, but this tells me something.  It tells me that for me to lose weight, I have to stick to my points and exercise.  DUH!!  I really already knew that, but now it’s right in my face.  I CAN lose weight and I WILL lose weight, as long as I’m doing what I know I’m supposed to.  No more blame game!!  My health and well being is up to me, not anybody else- and today with you as my witnesses, I am taking full responsibility!  I am taking charge of my body.   150 here I come!

Some of you may know that I am an avid reader.  Love love love books- I read all the time.  I normally read stuff like James Patterson, Tim LaHaye, you know action and mystery stuff like that.  A good friend recently recommended a book called “The Shack”- she said it changed her life.  I’m thinking, yeah, right, the only book that has ever changed my life is the Bible.  Well, she was right.  I read this book and my whole outlook is different.  The way I see God is different.  Apparently, the book is causing quite a stir, because I’m hearing about it all over now.  Some people have labeled it “heresy” and “blasphemous” but I think those are the people who have only heard about it and not read it.  It in and of itself is an allegory; not a true story, but a depiction of what it could be like.  Religion and Christianity today have become so messed up in legalism and tradition that we sometimes fail to remember what God has done for us and what He really wants from us.  This book helped me to get back to that reality.  I laughed and cried and cried some more.  I underlined whole paragraphs and made notes.  I lent it to a friend and when she gives it back I’m lending it to another friend.  I went and bought a 2nd copy so I could continue to lend my other one out.  It’s that good.  So, get yourself a copy at Walmart, read it with an open heart, and let God speak to you through it.  It really can change your life, if you allow it to.  It’s been 2 weeks since I read it, and I’m still going over it in my mind on a daily basis- and I’m getting ready to read it again!   Ok, sorry not a weight loss post but I felt it was important enough to share with all my buddies!!

Ok, here is my story-

I was a fairly skinny kid all through growing up and high school, etc. I never weighed myself back then, but I think when I gradutated at 17 I was about 140-145 pounds. I went through my freshman year of college with a few added pounds, but nothing major, then decided to get married. In July of 1996, my dr put me on birth control to see how I would do with it in the few months remaining before the wedding in Oct. From July-August, I gained 20 pounds. When I went back to the dr she said it was normal and not to worry about it. Well I gained a few more pounds before we got married, and afterward I worked really hard and lost it all. In Dec of 1996 I came home from work w/a leg that was blown up at least 2xs the normal size, was purple and I was in excruciating pain. Went to the hospital, found out I had 5 blood clots in my left leg, caused by the birth control pills. Spent our first Christmas together in the hospital! For the next 4 months I could not walk and had to be wheeled around everywhere, no work, etc. Gained a bit of weight due to this! When I was almost completely better, I started losing weight again. Then in March 2007 I found out I was pregnant. I had Mikayla in November. I stayed heavy for a while after giving birth, but a year or so later I lost a bunch of weight again. After a few more dramas (my husband fell from 16 feet landed on concrete, was pronounced dead at the scene, then miraculously came back to life while I was 6 months pregnant, our house burning to the ground in 2000, etc) I ended up at 200 lbs at the beginning of 2003. It was then that I was able to quit my job at Ruby Tuesday (yeah, I’m sure that contributed to the weight gain) and stayed home. I would get my husband up at 5:30 to go to work, workout, eat breakfast, and go on with my day. He only worked a mile away at the time so he would come home and we would eat dinner at 2pm, then my big meal was over for the day. That helped a lot! I was 173 by July. Then we moved back to VA I went back to work and we were making more money than we ever had in NY and plus the city we live in is full of restaurants, so we ate out ALL the time. Before I knew it I was at my heaviest- 220 lbs, which is where I started out with Buddyslim at last year. I was on a team then but I ended up leaving the team and dropping off BS all together. It was not a good experience for me. Last summer on the day we returned from vacation I went to the hospital w/a burst appendix and had emergency surgery. I didn’t eat a whole lot for about 8 weeks after that. Food made me sick. I dropped down to 195, which of course I gained back after I started eating again. In December of 2007 I was back at 215. This year I joined BS again, determined to make it different this time. I discovered the Wildcats and found this team to be what I was looking for. I know it doesn’t show on my ticker that I’ve accomplished a lot, but I feel like I have. First, I have gained friends that, even though they’ve never met me face-to-face, are there for me with encouragement, love and support. I have learned to not let food have such an impact on my life. I have made exercise a part of my life like never before. I have learned so many things to help me be not only thinner, but healthier. Next year at this time I want to write my story again, with a little different ending- I’d like to say I will be 60 pounds lighter! But I am taking it one step and one day (sometimes one minute!) at a time and will not give up! I am so proud to be on this team and thank you all so much for sharing your lives with me!

And desperately hoping to be able to do it tomorrow!  I went outside a few minutes ago in an attempt to at least walk around the parking lot for a few minutes but these danged sunburned legs are hurting so bad I can’t get more than a few steps.  I hate this!!  What a lousy excuse for not exercising- and I actually WANT to do it!!  But on a good note, about 40 mins ago I was craving something sweet or salty and I went to the gas station next door and picked up a bag of white cheddar popcorn- one of my favorite treats.  Well, then I put it down.  Then I went and looked at a bottle of yoo-hoo.  Then I put that down.  I ended up with a can of strawberry slim fast and a package of fat-free fig newtons.  I ate them and drank the shake, and whaddaya know, my craving is satisfied and I don’t feel like I’ve blown my whole day.  Somehow through all my stubborness and thick headedness, truth is starting to penetrate!! I can satsify cravings with better-for-me stuff and not blow a whole day of otherwise good eating.  I am doubting that I will lose anything this week, with missing workouts and not being very good while on vacation last week, but I do know that I can go from here and not feel like I have to give up.  With the support from my team, and inspiration they are to me, I will not lose this fight again!!  And Jillian (Michaels), in case you thought I’d forgotten about you- I will back to calling you names in my head again very soon!